Almost There

I feel so much better. I am so relieved that I have most things on my wish list complete. One major task I had to complete was fixing my car. Transportation was killing me and now especially in this hot weather, I cannot rely on public transportation. I had to go to work today and of course the bus was late and for the first time I had no choice but to take the dollar van. I have my reasons for that as well but we'll talk about that another time.

Now that I have my car fully tuned up and running properly, I can get to work and school on time and rely on no one but myself. I know it will be all worth it because I paid over $800 to get everything done. At least concerning my car. Now I must buy Microsoft Office Home and Student 2007 and download it to my laptop to get my work done for school. I can't even rely on my professor to teach me how to do lab assignments anymore. I must find out how to do it on my own and this is really pushing me far behind in school. But in order get myself back on track and up to date as far as my grade book goes, its something that I must do.

After that is done, I will be stress free. My only concern will be living happy and taking each day one day at a time making sure not to have a crisis. Hopefully I will get all A's in every class this semester then I can enjoy my little two week break and start my summer by taking more summer classes yet earning money and doing what I enjoy doing. Which is SHOPPING! =)

A New Audience

My hands are sweating as I type. I am nervous about tonight's speech for the first time. The reason is because I will be giving a impromptu speech in front of new faces that I have never done a speech in front of before. But because the professor will not be attending class this weekend, she offered the class the opportunity to make up their speeches on a day she will hold class and which is tonight at 6pm.

There are many reasons to be nervous tonight. For one, I will have a different audience than usual. I don't know if this class will be bigger or smaller than my original speech class. But I doubt it is smaller because my usual speech class has only six students plus the professor. Two, just the thought of an impromptu speech is nerve wrecking. Thank goodness, the speech only has to last 1-3 minutes.

I have never done a impromptu speech before and knowing that it is random topics, I can almost guarantee I will stutter or mess up somewhere. I hope the professor doesn't bring her camcorder to video our speeches because that will only make more nervous and embarrassing. I pray this day is over real quick. [sigh]

I guess my only option is to take a deep breath and try not to stare at anyone in the audience. Hopefully my voice doesn't crack.

A Buzz on Caffeine

As required for my previous English class prior to taking Speech class, I had to complete weekly reaction journals. I read an article based on facts of caffeine. At first I wasn't interested in reading the article because I don't drink caffeine so what do I care? But as I begin to read on, it got more interesting and the facts really did help me with my psychology class.

After reading "A Buzz on Caffeine", I have learned new things that I was totally unaware of. Facts such as caffeine preventing Parkinson's disease and type 2 diabetes. I learned that 70% of soft drinks have caffeine in them. Then I begin thinking out loud, no wonder soda makes people hyper. Caffeine gives people energy and helps them to stay alert. However, when the caffeine leaves your body, the brain chemicals begin to flow again and as a result, you crash.

I think caffeine may only be useful for those who drink it on a regular basis, because it affects them the most. On the other hand, beginner caffeine users will not feel anything has changed right away. Physical dependence can occur in three days.

How to Pick-up Cute Guys Using Scam Tactics

I just finished my instructional speech in class today. Informing my classmates how to pick up a cute guy using scam tactics. The scam that I used was modeling because of course if you are interested in a guy when you see him, the only thing you know of him so far is that he looks handsome and you see yourself dating him. So, his looks is what you notice first...Correct?

I was influenced to do this speech based on this topic because my friend was telling me how much she wanted to talk to this guy she seen on the train one day and thought he was really cute but she was afraid to talk to him. Not only that, but because she didn't know how to approach him. Of course, me being such a great friend that I am, I helped her out a bit and gave her some advice.

I made up a chart used for information. Something close to an information sheet when you are at the doctors office and they ask you basic questions such as your name, phone number, address, height, weight, etc. Then I also included a brief survey for this guy that you may be interested in. The questions are based on simple things to know more about his personality.

Included with the fake made up questionnaire chart, I made up a fake business card to provide the "cutie" with in case he wants to contact you. Now remember, you want to be as professional as possible when you approach your guy because your impressions means a lot. But instead of coming on too strong or seeming to desperate to date this guy, you can play it off.

Now when everything is all said and done, you think to yourself how would you ever face to tell him the truth. That the whole modeling gig was just a scam to date him. Well.... hence his personality type. If he has a great sense of humor, which you sure hope he does, you will tell him that it is not real and lucky for you he will laugh about it. In the end, you both have something to laugh about and maybe in the future, you can share this story on how you met each other to your children or grandchildren.

During this speech I was giving in class, I was not nervous at all. I guess it was because I took my speech as a comical. Which I thought went pretty well because I made the class laugh and I even included hand outs for the class to get a "Hands-On" experience to relate to what I was talking about. I hope I receive a good grade for this speech today. (Finger's Crossed) =)

Dramatic Break-Ups

There's a difference between just breaking up from a relationship and being way over the top after a break-up. When I say dramatic, I mean the type to have suicidal thoughts just because their significant other has dumped them. Its hard to believe that someone would actually think to do such a crazy thing to themselves. Well I know of someone who does this quite often and sad to say I am in constant contact with this person.

I mean I try talking to calm things down and maybe get her to think positive that it is not the end of the world and there is better things in life to live for. But after trying so hard for so long you begin to think to yourself how much more can you do to help someone before they finally realize, okay its time for a change. I cant even begin to imagine myself wanting to kill myself over my ex-boyfriend. As young as I am, I know that I have much more to see and live for everyday. But all I can do is shake my head and think to myself that my friend is absolutely out of her damn mind.

I don't know what to do anymore. So the only alternative option my family friends and myself thought to do is commit her into the hospital to be evaluated. Comes to find out she has a bi-polar disorder and now needs psychiatric help. I hope the therapy sessions help and gets her to stop thinking about killing herself. There is only so much I can do, so I leave it all in Gods hands and pray for a better future for both my friend and her better half.

Staring at My Own Reflection

I was just viewing some pictures from my high school's fashion show for the 2010 season and judging by the pictures, it looks like it went pretty well and was even better than last year. I didnt go this year because I had to work but I do feel a certain way from seeing how all of my former school mates grew up and sometimes I feel as if I am not pretty enough to fit into that category anymore. Not that I think I am ugly but just not as attractive as some of my other friends. The looks, I am not concerned with. The difference is height and size.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I say "Hey I look gorgeous today" but once I am with a few of my friends, its as if I am always the shorter and skinnier female out of the entire group. I tried almost everything I could to change that but nothing seems to work. Now dont let my size fool you because I am girl who likes to eat. But where does it go... I have no idea. "/ I just wish something would change.

It is not as if I hear compliments given to me everyday. Sometimes I feel that just a little confidence booster is needed to make me feel good about myself. Normally, I wouldnt be so public about my personal feelings about myself but It feels good to get it out and tell someone. I dont care who is reading this blog right now because I know someone will dare to read it. Comment, maybe not. But at least I know that my thoughts were heard aloud. Or read I should say.

I guess the only thing there is for me to do is to continue being myself and let my natural and unique beauty speak for itself. Confidence is everything! =)

First Class Speech

Today, I had my first speech in class. Although I was late and put on the spot I must say that I am very proud of myself for doing as good as I did today. I know that sometimes I may come off as a shy person, but I didn't have not one butterfly in my stomach. I was confident, I spoke what was on my mind and everything just came very natural. The duration of the speech had to be between 1-4 minutes but I think that I went over the limit by one extra minute. I guess the professor didn't mind because she didn't stop me either.

What I noticed while I was talking in front of the classroom, was that I had every one's attention. I am not sure if I bored everyone with my speech but I like to believe that I didn't. Although the applause at the end of every speech is mandatory and necessary for motivation, I feel as though the class were clapping because it was genuine.

I must say, coming from that once little shy girl that I use to be back in elementary is no longer alive. Instead I have blossomed into a beautiful young woman with a voice to be heard.

Talk is Cheap

I hate people who are all mouth. All they do is talk out their ass and show nothing to prove themselves. If someone is going to brag and boast about something they want to do, they can at least put some effort into it and try doing so. For me, that is a major turn off, whether you are male or female it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, you never kept your word about anything you said. At least when I say I am going to do something I actually do it. I don’t like to blog and talk out of anger but I cant help but speak the truth. Its upsetting me that friends keep promises and don’t stick to them. But what’s heart breaking is when your own family doesn’t own up to what they say. I learned from I was in my single digit years not to have high hopes about anything anyone says to me because actions speak louder than words. As my favorite saying goes,… “I’ll believe it when I see it”. Other than that, I wouldn’t hold my breath. I guess when people tell me that I am so generous, they are using that to their advantage to take my kindness for weakness. But all who knows me well, knows that I am a very trust worthy and dependable person. It’s sad to know that it is so hard to find more people like myself. I understand everyone is different but some people have the same murals, principles and perspectives on certain situations. I just wish that who talks the talk can walk the walk.

Playful & Ungrateful =)

My nephew’s kitten is so ungrateful. I went to my mothers house and noticed how the kitten was following me all over the house, up and down the halls. He just stuck to me like glue. Especially since I begin to eat a twinkie as I sat down to watch some television. I know that my cat is greedy but I knew something was wrong from the way he watched me like an hawk. So I figured that he was hungry. Usually, when the cat sees me, he is always ready to fight with me. But I can tell when he wants something when he tries to be nice to me. I finally get to go to the store to buy him some food and when I came back, he jumped up from the couch ready to attack me. I knew he was starving from his reaction. So I begin to pour his food into the bowl and he attacked it like a quarterback. I was relieved now that I got him out of way. Then all of a sudden, my mom and I noticed that the kitten began to play fight with my boyfriend as he usually does. I said aloud to them all “That cat is so ungrateful, as soon as he gets some food in his stomach he wants to start trouble.” And it’s true. That kitten is no angel so don’t let his innocent face fool you. I don’t know what it is my nephew done to that cat but he is not your ordinary house cat.

My Hair Obsession

My last Perm was on February 4th, 2010. Today, it is May 2nd, 2010. My hair doesn’t feel as though it needs a perm so I am conditioning it. But it is beginning to break off. And it grew so long within the year of 2009, I don’t want to cause any harm to my hair. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am obsessed with it. For me to always want my hair done or demand that I have it done at all times, must mean something.
I cant stand it when my hair isn’t done. I even hate it when I have to wear my hair in a pony tail because it is dirty. Right now my hair is very dirty and I know so because I have dandruff. That is why I chose to condition my hair this afternoon. The only problem that I am having now is figuring out what hairstyle I want done next. I have an idea. A couple actually. But that means I have to go out buy some hair (weave or extensions) then get in contact with one of my 5 hair stylist to get it done before the school week begins. Which doesn’t give me enough time being that today is already Sunday.

The children at my job even notices how much I care about my hair. They remark is always “Ms. Lorin, you always have a new hairstyle every week”. But I cant help it. I do everything to my hair as well. From sew-in weaves, Extensions, Wigs and Wraps. Including coloring. But one thing I refuse to do to my hair is Dye. It scares me a little. Maybe its because I know that hair salons uses peroxide and bleach to dye the hair. Especially if you want it colored blonde.

Right now, I am especially scared to perm my hair being that I haven’t done so in almost 3 months. I find it to be very healthy to not perm my hair. But I also hate getting it blow dried as well. The heat from the blow dryer alone damages my hair because the heat is so hot. Sometimes, I stress it so much that I just braid my hair and throw on a wig. But trust me, those who know I have long hair, wouldn’t even notice that I have on a wig. Most of the time people think it is a weave. That’s because I never wear a hairstyle for more than 3 weeks. I never wear a wig more than 1 week and I don’t really favor braids anymore either. I think that is for children now. I am getting older, and my maturity level has increased maybe about 10 times than what it was before. But I don’t think I can or will ever grow out of the habit of getting my hair done. Besides, a female is to have her hair done at all times. Even if she is just relaxing in her own home. She doesn’t have to be going out on a date to look scrumptious and have luxurious hair. At least I don’t. =)